There is a blog post that I read from a mommy blogger that lists all the things that are wrong and that went wrong and that could go wrong if she isn't a perfect mom. And one of the things she lists is that the potty training toddler smells faintly of urine and the baby smells like a steak sandwich...and this reminds me that Baby Girl needs a real bath because I can't remember the last time I let her play in bubbles in an actual tub instead of throwing her in the kitchen sink for a quickie or scrubbing her from head to toe with Baby wipes for a quickie-er. And no matter how much I do scrub my potty training Baby Boy, two minutes after he is clean he is proudly showing me how he stands up and dribbles pee into any concave surface like a big boy. I would use the f-word here but I try to stay family friendly, so just imagine me slowly thunking my head against the wall.
This week is burying me alive. Our children are unbearably demanding. Baby Girl is starting to crawl so I must be hyper vigilant about every little speck on the floor. Baby Boy needs to pee every 20 minutes and needs to learn to sleep in his own bed at a decent hour and needs to break the bottle habit. I had not one, not two, but three parent teacher conferences. There was a band concert, a pair of basketball games, an 8 th grade parent trip meeting...all to get children and/or myself to. Tomorrow we have a birthday party at our house and I haven't managed to get the dishes fully done one freaking single day. Jack is work literally all day and I am in the house slowly sinking this week. So tonight, when all the other inhabitants of my house are finally, finally quiet and not tugging on me or needing me...even though I know I should try and sleep while I can I seek out my mommy blogs and find a little comfort in seeing that my problems are not unusual, but normal. My smelly children have counterparts. No one else can get their kitchen clean daily. Somewhere someone else is staring at surprise pee puddles in disbelief. This week is brutal for many. I am not the only mommy thunking her head on house parts. And - because they keep blogging - I know that they survived.
Academically, I know the odds are very good that I will survive, too. I will likely look back at this post in a few years and laugh at what a drama queen I was. But right now, right this very minute...I am sitting in our dark living room at midnight. I left both the babies in bed with Jack and crept down the stairs for a moment alone to breathe. He will never even know. I broke into a secret stash of Oreos and am eating the middles out of a half dozen. Someone is walking around over my head and I don't know if it is a baby or a dog but I am not moving. No one knows I am here, and I need five more minutes.
No one will die of I eat Oreo middles for five minutes in the dark, right?
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