So the other night, I went to dinner with my friend Charlotte. Not counting adventures in the grocery store, this is my first night out since Baby Girl was born where I was alone. Jack and I have had a few dinners out, I have gone out with the kids, and twice now I have gone in the steam room at the Y alone while Jack watched the kids in the pool. I was so excited to go out with a girlfriend that I put on mascara and a real bra with underwires and everything. It was fabulous.
Of course, we are both moms to little children, so over our adult beverages and dinners that we didn't have to share with anyone, our conversation went something like this:
Me: Baby Boy refuses to sleep!
Charlotte: Mine too!
(insert talk about never sleeping)
Charlotte: My baby boy has crazy poop!
Me: Baby Girl has the strangest poop schedule!
(insert talk about poop and potty training)
Me: Baby Boy is starting swim lessons!
Charlotte: My boy loves water!
(insert talk of baby swimming and how I almost killed Jack for sending our toddler down a 40 foot enclosed water slide with no life jacket all by himself)
We did discuss a few non-child related things as well, but kids take up a lot of your attention - even when they are home with their daddies.
So after dinner, I continued my big night out by traveling all the way across the parking lot...to the dollar store. I have been wanting to go to the dollar store for a while now. But every time I go, one or two or all five kids start doing something asinine or embarrassing and I flee the store with the few things I have. I really wanted to take my time to peruse this particular dollar store because they have a very nice greeting card selection.
I hate, despise, loathe not having a card on hand when I want one because then I always just buy one at the grocery store. And I hate, despise, loathe paying four bucks for something that is ninety percent likely to be in that person's trash three days later. So I had this grand idea to buy a huge amount of cards for all upcoming events for months and months and months. I had this idea months and months and months ago. So when I had the prime evening alone time...I made straight for the dollar store.
After a good half hour of selecting cards and impulse buying window clings and baseball stickers, I got into line to pay. When it is my turn I have to wait for an eternity because this poor clerk has to scan my cards each individually and I have them all tucked into the flap of their envelope. So this is a process. As she finishes up, a man behind me says:
"How did you get out of the house without any kids?"
It ends up being a nice couple from my church and we laugh and I explain that they are home with Dad and as soon as this clerk rings up my cards and I stop to get milk (we always need milk) I will be back home with them.
But how funny is that?
People are surprised to see me in public without a child attached. I am with them so much, that people remark on it when I don't have them. I hope my kids read this some day and realize how completely they overtook my life. In fact, on days they are being unappreciative I may pull this up and show them.
"See how much I loved you??? I talked about your poop over filet and red wine!"
So my big night out was talking mostly about my kids, going to the dollar store alone, and being reckless and daring at 7-11 by buying a Cash for Life, that was a loser. And then realizing I have totally lost my individual identity. I am now simply my kids' Mom.
Sounds good to me.
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