At 11:30 pm, I felt smug. Jack and I had successfully walked upstairs, cuddled and read with Baby Boy, nursed and kissed on Baby Girl, and both were now happily snuggled up with blankies and dreaming. The tv was off, all the lights were out, Jack was starting to snore, and I had used all my lives in Candy Crush. I was going to be asleep before midnight. How cool are we? Baby Girl is four days old and we have it all under control, we are superstars. I even got a shower AND brushed my teeth today. "Could we be any more awesome?", I think to myself as I sink into the mattress and bury myself in blankets. I smile a little as I drift off, vaguely register the clock turning midnight. And then...
12:08....God laughs. But it sounds an awful lot like Baby Girl crying. And sucking her fingers frantically. I pick her up before she sucks off a fingernail and nurse her. For literally thirty seconds. Then she is sound asleep, drooling against my chest. And not falling asleep where I can jostle her and get her to finish. Dead weight, wet noodle, draw mustaches on her face asleep. I set her back in the bassinet, say a thank you prayer and close my eyes.
12:24....God laughs again. And again it sounds like Baby Girl. And again she nurses for 2.4 seconds and goes comatose.
Repeat at 12:40 and now again at 1:20. Except this time she finishes nursing and is laying on my chest working her way through hiccups while I blog. And she has that beautiful, intoxicating new baby smell. And that super soft downy hair that I kiss every two minutes. And her little fingers curl into my skin as her breathing gets heavier and deeper and she seems to sink further into my hold. And then I say a very different thank you prayer in my head and am so very thankful to be awake at 1:29 to experience this moment.
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