Thankful

Someone once tried to convince me that the positives in our lives are a direct result  of positive behavior - that God hands out blessings or trials based on your immediate behavior.  Helping your neighbor?  Great!  Here is a winning lotto ticket.  Gossiping about your neighbor?  Shame on you.  Speeding ticket. 

While I like the idea that if I am nice enough, I will be rich and trouble free...I think that the actual formula for blessings and curses is a bit more complex.  Hard things and hard times give us opportunities for growth and transformation.  Good deeds are often shadowed with other motivations or hidden agendas.  Sometimes we just straight up don't know what the hell we are doing.  I believe God's plan and plot chart for our lives is more complicated that a simple punishment/reward system.

And I have proof of this.

There is no way that I was ever good enough for all the blessings that I possess.

I am so incredibly thankful for this action packed, laughter filled, joyful journey that I am on.  My husband is kind and honest and generous and hilarious and ridiculously handsome.  He has given me five beautiful children that amaze us on a daily basis with how they are transforming into these fiercely independent little people that are already so much cooler than I will ever be. 

I am thankful for a busy year, rich with work and play, allowing me to stay home so all our children always have someone to call or help with homework or cheer them on.  I am thankful for our warm home, our comfy beds, and our full bellies  that we surely take for granted more nights than not. 

I am so thankful for our wide circle of loved ones.  When I see our family and friends interact and support our children, my heart grows three sizes.  There is so much love in this world for my family and this makes me so happy.

This year has been an eventful one for us.  We kicked it off by getting married and meeting Baby Girl...and we haven't slowed down once.  This life is busy and vibrant and sometimes crazy...and it is more that I ever wished for and more than I deserve. 

So to recap....despite my failings, I am blessed on a daily basis.  I will continue to try and live positively, not so I get rich but because I can't say thank you enough.  And if a winning lotto ticket happens to fall in my lap, then so be it.