Pause

In all the free time I have - hahahaha - ok in all the down time I have where I am nursing or rocking or stuck wide awake at night worrying about ridiculous things like what would I do if my house was attacked by a trained team of assassins or how I would escape my house if it were on fire and all my kids were unconscious and both my legs were broken and the stairs caved in......in all THAT time...I read different blogs, many of them mommy blogs.  There seems to be a recurring blog topic about things no one tells you if you are a new mom.  And almost everyone mentions something along the lines of how you will want to run away or you will not think motherhood is the best thing ever or you will at some point want to sell your baby to a traveling gypsy in exchange for a really comfy pillow and a clean shirt.  I am not there yet, but here is what I do wish for:

A pause button.

On those crazy days where it feels like I am swimming against the current from the minute I wake up and never making any headway...I would be so happy to stop all my children in their tracks.  I don't want to run away from them or drop them somewhere or drink until I forget I have them...I just want them to STOP.  Stop absolutely everything.  Pause.  And then I would sit down and breathe for a minute or five.  Chuckle a little at how silly they look paused in mid tantrum.  Sip a drink instead of guzzle on the run.  Eat a plate uninterrupted without someone taking a piece.  I would take ten minutes and clean up around them and admire how nice it looked.  I would pee without company and without an ear pressed to the door to listen for impending disasters.  I might even take a shower where I can both wash my hair AND shave.  I would kiss my husband like it might lead to something.  Place a glass cup at the edge of the table next to a sharp knife and a few choking hazards.  Leave the baby gates open and the doors unhooked.  Plug my cell phone in below waist level.  Live dangerously. 

And then...then I would un-pause them because I love them to bits and by that point I would miss them and the hundred funny things they do in a day.  But I would have my breath back - to better enjoy all one hundred of those moments.