Armed & Accidentally Dangerous

Big Boy and Baby Boy both have new Nerf guns - courtesy of Santa. Knowing Santa the way I do, I can only wonder at his mental process. Not that 'he' would gift them the guns, but that Baby Boy's gun is every-so-slightly out of his skill set. This has created a new category of mom crazy. Here is how this process works:

Baby Boy finds a stray nerf bullet or gun that I meant to hide but apparently missed. He is immediately enraptured, spouting "My Gun!" and "Mama, where bullets at, more?" every other minute.

The minute he is not saying these things, he is handing me the gun because the gun shoots one lousy bullet at a time. Santa believed this would be good - age appropriate, easy to navigate. Not the case.

Baby Boy is able to load the bullet into the gun. He is NOT able to pull back the lever that cocks the gun. So he finds a bullet, puts it in, makes me pull the level, shoots something, and then we begin again. Santa should have got him a Nerf machine gun - at least that way Mama could load it all up and get five minutes worth of laundry done.

Once he is loaded, he hunts for a target. He has surprisingly good aim for a two year old. And apparently there is a gene built into boys that gives them immediate disdain of stationary targets. Baby Boy instinctively knows that it is no fun to shoot the piano...or the chair...or his stuffed bear. He was born knowing what the off limit targets are...and wanting to shoot only them. Santa must be behind this, too.

Mama: Shoot your bear!

Baby Boy: No! Shoot (insert one of our three dogs here)!

Mama: No, be nice to doggies.

Baby Boy: Shoot sister!

Mama: No, we do NOT shoot the baby in the head. Not ever.

Baby Boy: (grins slyly) Shoot Mama?

What the hell. At least that way I have the bullet already to reload.